Considering: Car Seating

This is the first of a series where I take a situation and write out what I consider in that situation and how I would probably react.

The Scenario: Sue is visiting her sweetheart Robin who lives with a long term partner named Jan. They are getting ready to go somewhere together for the first time in Robin’s car. Robin is driving, who sits where?

If I were Sue- I would go for the backseat, the last thing I want to do is take the seat Jan is used to. I want to be sure not to literally unseat her. It is a small way to show respect for their relationship. However if I were going to actually resent sitting in the back I would ask if I could sit in the front, that way I am letting my desire be known but in a way that still respects Jan’s prior claim.

If I were Jan- I would offer Sue the frontseat. I would say something like “You spend so much time apart, you should spend as much of this time as you can closer”, BUT I would only do so if I were going to be happy about being able to be gracious and not resent Sue for accepting. Otherwise I would ask “Do you mind if I sit in front?” Including Sue in my desire and giving her the chance to object.

If I were Sue and Jan offered- I would accept and thank her, sometimes letting other people do even small things to support your relationship is a great way to make you both feel good about that relationship.

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2 comments on “Considering: Car Seating

  1. zzita says:

    *If I were Sue and Jan offered- I would accept and thank her, sometimes letting other people do even small things to support your relationship is a great way to make you both feel good about that relationship.*

    oooh, very insightful :).

  2. Deliberately 'nymed says:

    The way this seems to work in my world is that the person who gets the most carsick gets the front seat, no matter what. There is a hierarchy of carsickness, and none of us want anyone to be ill. If there is no carsickness (or insignificant values thereof), then the person with the long legs and the wide shoulders gets the front seat. Everyone feels considered – and if they’re feeling twitchy about not being given the front seat in favour of someone who might throw up on them, it’s a good litmus test…

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